I’ve wanted an Alpina since I got my license as a 17 year old, so more than 20 years ago now. I couldn't even tell you why exactly, though I have an idea. I always thought BMW’s were pretty cool and the E46 came out around the time and I loved and still love the look of that car in all its flavours. As for Alpina? I’m a natural contrarian and an Alpina was and is a BMW, but just a bit different. That being said an Alpina is not the natural choice for a late teen/early 20-something so, though I’d always double take whenever I saw one on the road and admire from afar, buying one was not on my radar for the next 15 years. My most recent experiences of standard BMW’s have been an E86 Z4 (a car I regret selling to this day) and my previous car, an M240i. The latter is very good, has E46-esque proportions and is a surprisingly decent all rounder. However it’s not particularly special, aside from perhaps the genuinely brilliant (and dare I say it somewhat Alpina-like in character?) B58 engine.
I started seriously looking into Alpina as a potential purchase a few years ago, when I first got to actually step in to and drive one - an F30 D3 Sytner demo - soon after it was released. That car sold me on the desire to own one (or a B3) however life circumstances got in the way so the plan was shelved.
Fast forward to 2020; with a second and final child on the way, I started looking around for a suitable family car just before lockdown and not long after the new B3 had been unveiled in Frankfurt which re-awakened the want for an Alpina. Despite that I dutifully looked at the competition; I don’t like the C-Class shape so a C63 was never in contention. The M340i is a quality car, is obviously the basis for the B3 and I did test one but ultimately it felt like a sideways move rather than a step up, given it is powered by an evolved version of the B58. I did and do like the look of the RS4 and actually got to the stage of putting down a deposit - with a hefty discount the price worked out 25% less than an equivalent B3 which is not to be sniffed at - but in the end I knew that whilst the Audi is a good car, I’d end up feeling about it as I do my current car; that it’s competent, but not special. So I contacted Sytner HW and more or less instantly placed an order. The test drive came later and whilst that’s obviously not the ideal way around, I was confident I wouldn’t be disappointed both because of how good the F30 D3 was and how good the donor car is, both of which I had driven.
Fast forward again several months more and here she is...
On the one hand there’s a reasonably decent amount of kit that comes standard on the car including electric heated front seats, rear parking camera and even a heated steering wheel. There isn’t anything it doesn’t have that you really need. On the other hand there are some surprising, Scrooge-like omissions. It’s frankly bizarre that on a £70k car, the base seats are Alcantara and leatherette, for example.
Having said that and whilst acknowledging that some folk gently bemoan first owners penny pinching on options, having ticked lots of option boxes on previous cars “for resale value” or simply because I could, only to feel a pang of regret because I never really used the options and they made sod-all difference to resale anyway I decided I was going to spec this car purely for myself. I suspect this will be the last fully ICE car I ever buy new and I’m not desperate yet to jump on to the electric train, so I’m planning on keeping the car for many years.
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For those who are interested and to help Bob keep his fantastic spreadsheet up to date, the spec over standard includes:
- Alpina Blue II paint
- 20” Classic wheels
- Black Vernasca leather seats
- HK sound
- Drive Recorder
- Leatherette dash top with matching blue stitching
- Aluminium paddle shifters
- Galvanic embellisher for controls
- Lumbar support
- Parking Assistant Plus
- Power folding mirrors
- Rear sun blinds
- Tinted rear windows
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Having only been handed the car earlier today I haven’t been able to drive the thing for any length of time to be able to tell you what it’s like, beyond the fact that it’s a) ballistically fast, b) way, way more comfortable than any near 500hp estate wearing 20” rims and 30 profile tyres has any right to be and c) is resistant to body roll in whatever setting the dampers are in. So basically, it’s an Alpina.
Dislikes? The exhaust note is remarkably muted for a 460+HP straight six; welcome to motoring in 2021 I guess. The cutouts for the door handles don’t look great though clearly that’s an issue with the donor car. The steering wheel is absolutely massive girth-wise. I haven’t especially minded this on previous BMWs as they’ve lacked much in the way of steering feel anyway. However this one is on another level entirely and the main issue is I can’t get into a position where I can see the entirety of the electronic instrument binnacle. There’s also a whistling noise coming from just above the top of windscreen above about 50mph, which is ironic as the car is fitted with a small spoiler in that area to reduce wind whistle at high speed. I will investigate this in due course.
One word on the dealer; prior to placing my order I was in two minds about whether to order via my local dealer, Sytner HW which is very conveniently close to me, or to order directly from Nottingham. I know there have been one or two others on here who have had to make a similar decision and several have ordered cars from Nottingham in preference to their nearest Sytner. I ended up going with the convenient option of HW. With the caveat that I suspect I am close to the perfect customer - I knew almost exactly what I wanted from the start and I’m generally pretty chilled so could handle the delays in delivery of a car I ordered in July - I can’t fault the experience. In particular the guy that handles Alpina sales there does seem to get the brand and I would buy another car from him. I might be wrong but I can’t imagine that I could have got a substantially better service from Nottingham.
I appreciate most of you reading are here for the pics rather than the novella that precedes them, but thanks to those who have read the lot. Note the car is filthy because I asked them not to clean it - I’ve seen horrible swirling on dealer prepped brand new cars. I have a whole day booked off later in the week so I can do the detailing thing. I might post some better pics then. I’ll also aim to add my thoughts about the ownership/driving experience in due course